August 8, 2016

It's been 15 weeks since my last show. Haven't felt the need to post probably because I was torn on what I was going to do. I decided a week or so ago that I wasn't going to compete in the KC Classic. I've had good growth so why stop it to cut down? I am realistic enough to know that while I have grown, I still lack the overall mature muscle I need to be competitive. 

I've always really looked up to & respected the girls who take long off seasons. It takes so much patience and dedication to train for something that is a year or more away. I finally realized, why can't that be me? Making that decision was a relief & I feel excited all over again. I was feeling somewhat apathetic & blah towards doing KC because I knew I would likely be disappointed that I didn't look different enough from my last show. Sooooo here's to a entire year of gains. I am loving my time in the gym. Strength is up & I am so excited to see how much stronger I can get in the upcoming year. 

I think one of the reasons I struggled with the idea of taking a long offseason is that in my mind I thought that long offseason meant that I had to gain a ton of weight & be uncomfortable in my body. Fear was driving me to compete at KC. I don't know why I started to not trust myself. Anyway, I eventually realized that I was being stupid & that I can have self control without a show in the immediate future. I have found that creating balance (for me) means being able to maintain a relatively lean physique while also eating fun foodies from time to time. The bodybuilding world throws around the word "balance" so much because truly it is a pretty unbalanced sport. I honestly feel really good this offseason because I believe I have truly found my balance.

 Left: peak week of SSC, 128 lbs
Right: 15 weeks post show, 136 lbs

So in summary. Eat yo veggie, lift yo weights, and have a damn burger & fro-yo from time to time. Sometimes it's okay to count blessings, not calories. :)

Much love & lifting,

Leah