So for the most part I have kept this blog pretty straightforward. I basically use it to document my progress in regards to shows & bodybuilding. I think it's good for me to also write about something much more important that has been happening in my life.
Over the past year or so, my faith has grown tremendously. My grandma passed away June 12th. The whole thing made no sense. My grandma always seemed strangely young. It was like she never aged. She was super active. She lifted weights, she volunteered at a retirement community (It is still strange to me that the elderly she took care of have outlived her.), & was always doing something. Always. So to make a long story short, essentially it was discovered that she had a tumor in her brain. There were no real symptoms up until that point other than about the month before the discovery she seemed a little off. So she has surgery to have it removed and after that it was all downhill. She passed away within a month or so of the discovery. I honestly think that she decided she was tired of being here. I love my Grandpa deeply, but he is a very difficult person. My Grandma waited on him his whole life. Cooked all of his meals, cleaned up after him, etc. I think she was ready to go home & be taken care of by the big guy upstairs. Like I said, I think she was just so tired. She knew that there was something wayyyyyyyyy better waiting for her.
After she passed it was like this seed was planted in my mind & heart. My Grandma was the most positive and radiant person I have ever encountered. She described everything with such passion. Everything was "beautiful", "lovely", "amazing", "wonderful", etc. Everything. She also had the ability to make everyone feel as though they were "her favorite". That was how she lived her life. She looked at life with such gratitude & always strove to serve others & make sure they knew they were loved. I wanted to figure out how she came to be this way. By nature I am a pretty anxious and negative person. I do not know how exactly it happened, but all of a sudden I found myself pursuing a relationship with Christ.
I grew up Catholic, so I was very familiar with the idea of God and what it meant to go through the motions in regards to religion. Growing up I found myself only praying when I needed something which in return left me feeling guilty. So eventually I just stopped praying altogether because I felt bad about it.
I honestly don't know how to articulate what has happened in my life. Everything just makes so much more sense. I feel like I now see life the way my Grandma did. It's like I am seeing and experiencing everything through her eyes. I can't believe I lived this long without an active relationship with God. Sometimes I get really sad because I wish I had this discovery while she was alive. She was so knowledgeable and solid in her faith. It would have been absolutely amazing to worship with her and talk to her about all of this.
Anyway, God has helped me in so many areas of my life. He has put everything into perspective & I strive to do everything in his honor. It has really helped me with my balance in regards to fitness, shows, health, relationships, work, & life in general. He needs to be the center of everything we do. If you can't find a way to serve him in what you are doing, then you shouldn't be doing it.
1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
Much love & lifting,
Leah
